reflecting on the moments.

Looking forward to a date night. Just want a hug.... sorry but friends won't do, I'm talking husband hug. I miss him tonight. Not that I don't any other night... but it's just one of "those nights". One of those days... well, couple days... well... whatever, they all have their moments. We all have our ups and downs.

Like K man, lately he has just freaked out when I have to leave him.... screaming, I mean really SCREAMING. Flailing his arms and legs and screeching and sobbing. I know he is 3, this is a faze, this too shall pass. I hope! The poor boy has been going through a lot of ups and downs, and he is wanting to make sure mommy is going to come back. I want the breaks, I need the breaks, but it breaks my heart to tear his little (strong) body off of me, hand him over and run.

So many things on my mind... little things, big things, crazy things, fun things.... really, just everything! The kids had winter break this week from school. So as usual we wanted to stay busy. We were busy. We have been very busy lately... to the point where now Im trying to plan days of doing nothing into our schedule. To just have one day during the week (after school) that we just come home and don't have plans, we need that.

Then the thoughts of... a year from now... what will be going on? Where will we be at? We are working on that, but I am such a planner. I just need to be patient I guess. Is patient even the right word? I don't know? With all these hershey kisses hanging around, I guess I should think more like Forest Gump. Life is like a box of chocolates.......... Hmmmmm??? ( I don't know where that is going, it just sounded good in my head at the moment) ;)

We have been having our "movie night" at least once a week. It helps to just slow down and unwind a bit with the kids under blankets. We get a new movie (usually from net flix) and after Missa goes to bed, she is too little for movie night just yet, we snuggle up on the couch and watch our movie. The kids love it, as do I! It is a nice way for all of us to be close and just relax and be comfortable. Possibly maybe forget about "real life" for a bit.

Real life is awesome though.... in all those moments I was talking about, there are some pretty amazing ones! It's hectic and the kids get wild, but they really just fill my life with love and blessings every day. Talking to Daddy on Skype is also a blessing. For all of us. At least we see him just about every day. We can't touch, but we can see and we can talk and it helps. The kids keep him up to date on what they are doing, and Missa shows him all her new tricks. Like climbing the out side of the stairs.....

She is crazy, we call her "mini menace". She climbs up here and then can't get down, so she yells. I hear "MUMMMMMM, MUMMMMAAAAA" I have told her "NO" numerous times, so I say it more sternly and she will flap her arms at me and yell. Not sure what she is yelling, not sure I want to know. ;)
She walks around waving to everyone too, like she is the queen. "Hi everyone, it's me Missa, I'm here" thats pretty much what I think she is thinking when she is doing this. I must say though, it is pretty cute.

My "little big girls" as I like to call them... well they might look a like, but they have  two very different personalities these days. It is funny, and it is not. They are such chatter boxes..... all...... day..... long! They can play great together, and then turn on each other, or their brother. They can be so much fun, and they can be exhausting. All in all, I love them!

I am exhausted, and I miss him.... but I'm trying to focus on the moments. Moments like this...

and this......

As for that box of chocolates... I wish it would hurry up and empty out so that Daddy could be back home with us! I don't think Forest Gump wished his box was empty.... but oh well, I do! ;)

I love you and miss you my man!

making a dent

Today marks 5 months into this deployment. I'm really looking forward to next month when we can say we are half way done. Or the next when we are more than half way done.... I could keep going with this ;) 
In the mean time the kids have really been enjoying their kisses!

This has really turned out to be a great visual for the kids (and myself). It is also a great conversation piece. With us on a daily basis and with any guests we have. We usually get funny looks, and then have to explain why we have this ginormous jar full of hershey kisses. What... doesn't every house with small children have overflowing amounts of sugary chocolate?

A couple months back one of the kids actually said to me, "Mom, there are way too many hershey kisses left still." It was true... there were :( now though, we are putting a nice little dent in it and they have said, "WOW, look at all the chocolate we have eaten!" Now that's what I like to hear. 

I see other units that are heading out to begin their deployments (on the news and what not), and I am thankful we are not just beginning. It is a good reflection when I see or hear about these units... to look back and see how far we have come. We are a good ways into ours and in a good routine. It makes me feel pretty good. We are surviving! 

"Survive"... that is actually my goal each month that is written at the top of my white board refrigerator calendar. I wrote it there back in September when Daddy first left, that is the one thing I do not erase. The days of each month however, I am more than happy to wipe off each night! That is my other personal "visual"... is it sad that I get so excited to wipe off a day? Most times I can not even wait for one month to be done before I start filling in the next month!

Well, I am glad that this 5th month is a shorter one! In the middle of all this counting down though, I really am trying to live for the moment and enjoy each day with my kids. They are growing way too fast!

another box

It's almost valentines day. Not that we are big on celebrating this expensive "holiday"... but we had to make some valentines for daddy. We got out our craft supplies, the colored paper, the pretty stickers, all the markers, crayons and colored pencils we own, and of course.... the tape! My kids LOVE tape. They tape everything just for the sake of using it. K man doesn't quiet understand that tape is used to hold things together, so his was pretty much used to decorate with. Daddy will typically get a picture from K man in every box we send out, that has a tiny bit of coloring on it, and whole lot of tape across it. ;)
So we cut, colored and taped our valentines and made them so pretty. Then K man said "Let's make valentines for daddy's army guy friends!" E agreed "YES!! I want to make hearts for the other army guys, daddy can pass them out!" I spoke up, "GUYS they are SOLDIERS, not just army guys!"  Oh, I love their conversations!
Needless to say, we cut out lots of little hearts and then colored on them and signed names. A few were assigned to daddy only, to go with his other valentines, the rest were to be put into a little baggy, and I had to make it clear to daddy that these were to be passed out to the army guy friends/soldiers as soon as he opened the box!
Daddy will usually make a few requests, knowing that we always have a box going. So there were some books added in, some that he asked for and some that I found while going through our stacks, that I thought he might like. 
This one was pretty much filled to the max with v-day goodies and books.... but typically we will add in some juice boxes and snacks for him. My favorite was the very first box we sent out, K man was eating reese's pieces ( a tiny fun size package ) he ate a couple, and then insisted that I put the rest in a lunch baggy and send it to daddy. He wanted to share. ;)
I'll never forget that! Another time I asked him what we should put in daddy's box and he replied "ME!" 

taped up and ready to go

K man is always saving things for his daddy... always food. As he is eating things he will say "I will save this last one for daddy for when he comes home" or "there is one juice box left in here, it is for daddy ok." he is so sweet!
E and I make sure he has plenty of pretty pictures to decorate with. Missa has colored a few herself. I like to stick little notes in and cards just to give him a smile. There is always a box being filled... once it is full and we pack it up and send it out... we get the next one out and start right back at it. We have a collection of boxes, packing tape and the forms we need to send it through the APO to him. It's hard to surprise him considering we need to write everything that is in the box on this form and it is attached to the top of the box. We have to make him promise not to read it! ;)
This one is not quite going to make for Valentines day, it will be a few days late, unless by some miracle the APO is super fast! Doubtful.... although we did have one package make it to him in about 5 days, I think that is some sort of record! 
He did give us a heads up that he sent some valentines out to us as well. We are looking forward to our special delivery!

It's snowing..... AGAIN!

What a winter this is turning out to be. Typically, I love winter (not that I don't this year, just not as much) I've never been a big summer person. I do love a good vacation, and I enjoy summer when it is here. Although I would much prefer to put on sweats and snuggle under a blanket, then be sweaty and sticky and be running out of layers to take off. 
However, if we could please not get a storm a week until June, that would be appreciated!  My family and neighbors have all stepped up to the plate, and really been amazing. I don't know what I would do without such great people around me. Yeah, sure I can go out and shovel, I am perfectly capable of doing so. However what do I do with the 4 small children running 100 mph through my house while i'm out there?
I have gone out and done some here and there, I leave the door open and keep running back to check... or to hold them back and shut the outside door so that the baby doesn't go crawling down the walk way, and onto Main St.
There is SO much snow, I can not see anything when trying to back out of my drive way. I live on the corner of Main st... so this is scary! I managed to back the car in the last time I came home (But that is because there happened to be no one coming) It's tricky backing in on this corner anyways because there is always a car coming... now add 12x12 snow bankings on all sides and cars flying around the corner, it just triples the excitement! ;)
We also have a small garage, and a big car, so we have to watch the mirrors, it is a tight fit. The point to my story is no matter how I chose to get in and out of my garage and driveway... it is Fun! 

The kids love the snow though... they have managed to get outside and play a few times. Not nearly as much as I or they would like. The temps have been very cold and when it is a bit warmer it is just tricky... they would prefer me to be out there with them. It isn't too easy with the baby. I try at nap time, but lately she has been very off schedule... I know that the day I try to get out there is the day she takes a short nap. Next year will be much more fun when daddy is here to play with them, or stay in with baby. Although she will want to be out there too by then ;) So we can all play!
The other day they wanted to go out, so I got them all dressed and the girls went out and started playing. I was getting Kman dressed and one of the girls asked to come in. I said no. She had just gotten out there! So I walk out with Kman to help him get started, a snow flake hits his nose and he says "I want to go in". WHAT?!?!?!..... COME ON! So.... in we went. :( The girls were soon to follow. Wish I could get out there with them more, but baby doesn't last too long and can't move in her snow suit... not to mention her boots are 2 sizes too big. 

The abominable Beamer

So... we do crafts and have dance parties and try to schedule as many play dates as we can! The goal this year really is to stay as busy as possible. Book up our days as much as we can so that we don't have time to be bored and think about daddy not being here. From time to time, it is nice to stay home and do nothing though.

Here we are in the "dead" of winter, and this will probably (hopefully) be the "longest" part of the deployment. Just harder to get out with all this snow, and now ice. We end up cooped up at home a little more then usual. He will be getting some leave time though so that will break it up, and then it will be summer, and I'm sure we will be busy then..... so before we know it... Daddy will be home and our hershey kisses will be gone! 

Then we will be right back into winter again.... although it probably won't snow next year because he will be home to help shovel!