and they danced...

I am one proud mommy! Just a couple days ago on June 25th, my little girls danced in their very first recital. They did a tap routine called "Sugar, Sugar" to The Archies song "Sugar, Sugar" of course. It was absolutely adorable!
If you don't know my girls... they are VERY shy. It takes them quiet a while to come out of their shell. We had some moments in dance class where they broke down and refused to dance. Like when dance first began back in Sept. They wanted to go soooooo bad, but I had to drag them into the room and leave them crying with the teacher. We slowly got over that and BAM it's "visitors day" well..... let me tell you, That did NOT go well. they froze, came and stood by me, clung to my leg and cried. Meanwhile im holding a screaming baby who is violently trying to escape my arms, and my 3 year old son is hiding behind me. Oh no, my face did not turn red at all.

Well.... we got back into it, and they started to do good again... and then all of a sudden I see a sign hanging in the waiting area "Visitors day... all next week".  WHAT!?!?! needless to say we skipped that class, and i believe there was one more in there somewhere we also skipped.
They started to get into a great routine, as long as we didnt have visitors day. They made it clear they did not like having everyone watch. Actually E told me she would get very upset if she even saw me sneak a peak through the tiny window on the door between the waiting area and the dance room. I did get a few peaks without her noticing though, and they were both doing awesome.

They started practicing for the recital back in April. They ordered their costumes and the day they came in they had us get them dressed and they were going to show us (parents) the dance (actually it was when Daddy was home on leave). We all went that day, but i really didn't think they would dance for us. however, I was wrong! they put their costumes on and they did it! :) It was perfect.. daddy got a sneak peak since he wouldn't be here for the recital.
We also had a full dress rehearsal at their last class before the recital, we had to get them in full costume, hair and make-up. Again, to my surprise, they did it all!!!

Saturday was a long day.... I brought the two younger ones to my parents house. They would do lunches and naps and bring them to the theater to meet us. I got the girls and myself dressed and ready. Did their hair, secured their headpieces and applied all their make-up. (which they thought was just SO Cool!)

I wasn't sure how leaving them backstage was going to go. They had done great the past two rehearsals, but I didn't leave them then. I was so nervous (even thought about having my friend bring them back when she dropped off her daughter) but really, i wanted to be a part of this with them. So i decided to just do it. It went so smooth!!! They were excited, but also a little nervous, but they stayed no problem. When they came out on that stage and did that entire routine and were so into every step, I couldn't stop smiling, and I couldn't help get just a bit teary! They did AWESOME. So proud!

Such a big day for them, grandparents, aunts and uncles all came to watch. Actually it was sort of bittersweet in a way. Just the day before Their Memere (Daddies memere, so their great grandmother actually... but she was memere to everyone) passed away. It was nice that these two little girls could help bring some smiles back to some pretty sad faces. It was nice that his aunt from CA was able to come and see them, but sad that it was Mem's ticket that she was using. (oh the up's and down's)
The day was beautiful and perfect and the smiles were much needed, and we all knew Mem was smiling so big.

The girls just soaked it all in and ate it all up after wards. Presented with roses from grandparents, and each of them received a special red rose from daddy. A few balloons and all this attention. I'm pretty sure they felt like little movie stars that afternoon!

Beautiful memories! 

the little things...

today has been one of those days... i feel like i have a lot of those lately. ever get to the point where you just scream over everything. yes that has been me today. 
just feels like you can't do anything right... and like no one respects you. yes even complete strangers, i could come across someone in a store and if i'm having a day like this, well frankly i just don't like you. doesn't matter if i don't know you, I am mad at you right now. thats how i feel....
then a little person comes up and says "mommy, i love you" and i can't help but stop and forget things if even for a moment. of course it is probably because that little person refused to clean up their mess 5 min ago and doesn't want a time out.... but for a moment, they reminded me that I am special and even though they don't show it all the time, they do respect me. 
they respect me in a different way than i want them to at times.... but for them it goes deeper, it's a respect of the heart. 
i feel as though i yell too much sometimes and i wish i could stop, i want to, but the aggravation gets the best of me. no one is listening, they are running circles around me and i feel as though i could run out the front door and not look back. 
then a little person comes up to me with her little lips puckered up like a fish and leans in for a kiss, and i can't help but stop and remember that i could never just run and not look back. there really is so much love surrounding me, surrounding us and it holds us together.

there are days when everything goes perfect, everyone listens, everyone plays so great together, and i feel so much more peaceful and i am able to enjoy the day a whole lot easier. of course every day can not be perfect, i know that. so i try to remember and cherish those good days so that when the bad ones come along i can try to smile a little more.

there are times when i'm so frustrated, when i just want to talk to him and i haven't been able to. for whatever reason... we are running around and busy, he has to take a class or has a meeting or for whatever reason is just busy and can't call. the kids want to see him and tell him things, i want to see him and tell him things.... but we can't. it's hard to let that really soak in... that you just plain can't and there is nothing you can do about it. 

but then, in those really bad moments when you just think it couldn't get any harder, more lonely, or more sad.. the computer starts ringing that skype ring, and it's him calling to say hi. and we smile! 

as hard as things can get sometimes, as frustrating or as sad... we always have those amazing moments that remind us, it's ok. i try to remember that, like now... as i write this and i hear whining coming from some little peoples beds. i remember not everyday is perfect, and last night those little people fell asleep within 5 minutes of hitting the pillow. 

so now I focus...... focus on the amazing memory of last nights perfection. 

but then as i listen now...... silence.....they have fallen asleep... and i smile! 

~Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love~

Ephesians 4:2

sitting...wondering...

yes I am still wondering "what does our future hold"? We are getting closer and closer to the end of this year long deployment. I know this because our Hershey Kisses are getting lower and lower ;)

I just keep praying for everything to fall into place soon, so that we no longer have to wonder...

I know that it is all in God's hands, and he has a plan for us. Although that doesn't mean we can sit back and do nothing... we need to work hard and God will guide us in the right direction. "Hard working" is an understatement when it comes to my man, he has been going above and beyond for us during this deployment. Doing his job over there, taking classes, doing interviews... there is only so much he can do being there, but whatever he can do.... he does.

We go back and forth as far as being "stressed"

He will stress over things, and I will be the one saying "it's fine, it's all gonna be good." Then it's my turn, I stress, and ask him the same things over and over, and he tells me "it's fine......"

I'm not going to go into detail as far as exactly what we are waiting for. There are some things we just want to keep private... when the time comes, and we "know" then we will see where we go from there. Everything will fall into place, some way, some how... it will.

We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don't need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don't yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently)

Romans 8:24-25

Until it does, we just continue having faith, working hard, and praying. 

I have to say, coming into the homestretch here.. we have done good! I have a goal on the top of my white board calendar on my fridge. I guess technically this spot where you wright in your goal, should probably change from month to month? Mine has not, I wrote it in back in September when I bought the white board, and it has remained my goal this entire time....

"Survive"

yup! that's my goal... and it looks like i'm succeeding. So far anyways ;) Hey, we are all still alive right!  I just keep praying that the Lord will continue to bless us as we near the end of this road, and come upon a new one.

So there are only 2 more days of school! I can NOT believe my baby girls are going to be all done with kindergarten... 1st grade in a couple months and going to school ALL day! What happened to my little 4lb peanuts??
They had a pajama party at school today (which was just "So Cool") of course they were sporting the princess nightgowns (with leggings underneath) ;) and they had to bring their slippers with them to change into.
Since they are July 1st babies, they get to bring cupcakes in to share tomorrow to celebrate their birthday with the class. Very exciting times for them. They even get to wear a crown in class! All kinds of ideas were thrown out for what kinds of cupcakes mom should make to bring in.... of course princess (thats on the party theme list every year) but after talking about the flag and discussing the fact that their birthday is just a few days before Independence day, they decided that red, white and blue it would be. They were so excited as they talked about what we would get to decorate them, and how they would look like the American flag. We couldn't find little mini flags to stick in the cupcakes, so instead we bought a bigger one to put in our flower bucket out front, again, this was just "So Cool".
They went on to talk about how daddy has a flag on his army uniform, and the stuffed animal they made daddy has a flag on his army uniform, and was holding a little flag. They have also noticed the flags lining Main St.  Of course all of this is relating to daddy and how he "works at the army".
The girls wanted to go out back and play, so since they get to bring them to school and celebrate, K man got to help decorate... and since we couldn't find just red and blue M&M's, he patiently sat on the floor with two bowls, sorting out the reds & the blues and eating all the greens..... and yellows.... and browns....
My little patriots are so thrilled to share their "American cupcakes" at school tomorrow.

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom

2 Corinthians 3:17