IM 3!!!!

Yep I'm 3 today, so that must mean I can start shaving...... my face.....right mom!?!?!????
Oh little Missa Bryn! Yes, she snuck up and grabbed my razor. She was quiet (yeah, I know, that's never good) She got it down and tried to shave her sweet lil' face. She cut just above her upper lip and just below her bottom and her finger. Not bad (at all) but lips definitely bleed, so she spent the better half of the morning and her nap with a nice little square band aid over her little lip. She won't be shaving again any time soon, I promise!


So, how is it that our baby, the littlest one, is now 3!? I mean usually we have another one turning 1 right about now... but nope, the baby is 3! Oh man :( yes, I admit, this makes me very sad. I love the new milestones, and as much as I love her growing up, I miss the diapers and bottles! I really, honestly do! She knows it too, that's why she hangs onto that binkie so tight at night! ;) And I let her... yup I do.... don't judge me!!! Baby steps folks... for Bryn & Mommy!

(See, she's even holding the binkie in one of her first pics!) 

Bryn was born at 5:40am on black Friday. We had already made one trip to the hospital Thanksgiving day, only to be sent home. Yes we missed turkey, and they told me, "Nope don't think that's amniotic fluid, could be a few more weeks" (Bryn was 3 weeks early) WELL... I was not a happy camper! And I knew for a fact that fluid was NOT pee! So we went home, tucked the three bigger kids in (they got turkey with Nana and Pape..... yes I was jealous!) Needless to say, I never went to sleep, started having  contractions so I sat for about 3 hours and timed them, because I couldn't sleep. FINALLY, I woke Ryan up and said, that's it, I can't take it we are going back!
We took his parents car in so they could take our kids to their house in our car when they all woke up. We got pulled over on our way.... had no clue where the registration was seeing it wasn't our car. We were definitely not out looking for black Friday deals, so the cop let us continue on to the hospital.
We parked at the main entrance like anyone would do... and it was locked up tight since it was 3 am of course. We decided we should just walk around to the E.R. entrance since it wasn't far (we thought) and that's where the sign on the front doors said to go. Oh I was NOT happy by the time we got there! Then we were drilled as far as where we needed to go when we got there, we couldn't get into the main hospital without them buzzing the doors open for us... Call me crazy, but I thought it was pretty obvious where we were headed! They did finally open the doors thankfully and we made our way up. To make this long story shorter, I was 4cm one minute and about 35 minutes later I was 10 and ready to go... Bryn was almost born on the toilet!
SEE.... she has been spunky from the start!! ;) 1 and maybe a half pushes and the Dr. barley making it there to catch, and out came that beautiful, tiny little red head! We should have known from that moment, she wasn't planning on slowing down any time soon!
What a little ball of fire she has become. She is smart, funny, energetic, and a big ol' handful.... we love every bit of her!

(3 weeks new..her announcement picture...w/the binkie)  ;)

(9 months, taken during fam. pics 2 days before daddy left for Kuwait)

1st birthday!!

(birthday buddies @ Chuck-e-cheese)

And of course her 3 year pictures taken recently during our family photo shoot .......

Love my babes! All of them. 

"Thank you God for blessing me, letting me be their mom and I can only pray that you would lead me to teach them right and that they would grow in the way of you the Lord! With hearts wide open and full of love!"

potty talk

I was in the kitchen the other day and I hear Missa talking... I found her in the bathroom on the potty. As soon as I peaked in she said "Shut the door Mommy!!" She has been going on the potty during the day for a little over a month now. She has it down, she does awesome. I still don't want to shut the door completely while she is in there. So i shut it almost all the way and continued what I was doing in the kitchen.
I heard her start talking again, and realized she had her toy flip phone in there with her. She was talking to the puppy in the picture. "Hi, how you doing?...... me good.....You going to work now?" and on and on. So cute. Then a couple minutes later I hear her as loud as can be "Call me maybe!!!!" she was bustin' out in song in there. I couldn't help it, I had to stop everything and just watch through the crack in the door. "All the boys try and chase me........." HAHAHA "Call me maybe!!!!!!!!" I almost pee'd my own pants laughing while watching her. Of course I'm still laughing as I open the door and she gives me her little embarrassed "mean" face with a grunt..."Mrrrmmmm, shut the door MOMMY!!!"
I just had to share that, it was so cute and absolutely hilarious!

SO this potty thing. I always went "full throttle"..."cold turkey"  with my other three. The day we wore undies during the day, was the day we said goodbye to diapers forever... For Bryn it was different. Maybe because she is my baby? Also because as good as she does sleep, more often than not, she will end up in our bed at some point during the night. I didn't really have this issue with my others, probably because the big girls had each other, learning to sleep all night in their beds together at the same time. Kale man didn't even flinch, he wanted the bed before I wanted him in it, and he slept in it all night with no problems. Bryn was doing awesome, and then got into a bad habit of coming into our bed. part of the problem was/is we are just so tired and she sleeps great in our bed and doesn't bother us (MOST nights) so why not just get sleep!? I tried laying with her and that worked for a while, and we were sorta back on track.... then it happened again. Now some nights I can get her to sleep in her own bed if she wakes up, but it seems most nights she will throw a fit, and if she had her own room, I would let her cry and learn to sleep in her bed.... however she shares a room with her big sisters, and I would rather one small child in the middle of my bed then a whole gang. SO..... that is why I was more "lax" about the diapers at night with her. She did so awesome during the day, but I didn't want accidents in my bed.
WELL.... the other night, I tucked Missa Bryn in to bed. I was headed out to a girlfriends house for a bit, and when I got home around 10:30, she was already in my bed. Sometimes I think it's actually my husband who is afraid to sleep alone, and he goes and gets her and tucks her into bed with him.  ;)
But anyway... she was there, I let her be and I got into bed and went to sleep. Around 5am Ryans alarm went off, she was still sleeping, I got up to use the bathroom and Ryan says... "Bryn isn't wearing a diaper." ... WHAT!?!?!!?  he thought I ment for that to happen so he just let it be when she went into bed with him..... however, in reality, I forgot! So i quickly went to check, and to my surprise she was dry! Thankfully seeing she was in MY bed! ;) I did make her go potty at that point to make sure my bed stayed dry! She went and went back to sleep and did so good!
We were SO excited! I guess we needed to forget to get over our little "hump" (thats what we will call it) ;) 
That was  a few nights ago... and she hasn't worn a diaper since! WOOHOOOOOO!!!! She is doing pretty darn good too! So proud of our "little big girl".
Like anything, this is bittersweet. Of course I don't miss buying diapers... I haven't in a while since it was only at night and I had plenty. Those suckers are expensive! She's my baby though, so in a way I was trying to just hang on to that, and not push anything. (Yep... our next "hump" is the binkie she just has to have at night) One thing at a time people!  Really though, I don't want her to have it forever, and she won't... but Im just not pushing these things either!
Bittersweet!!!

Vent? Why yes I will...

I don't normally "vent" here on my blog. However after first thinking I should just find something better to write about instead of going with whats really bugging me...I thought again, about the fact that leaving it all inside and not venting every once in awhile just isn't very healthy. Right? I mean if we never said how we felt and just let it all go.... how would we fix things to make us happier?
I'm not saying I'm unhappy, I'm just saying I have a lot on my mind and I might blow up if I keep it all inside.
See for the past 2 months, since school started really, Ryan has had to work nights. At first, we thought it would be kinda nice... more time with the kids and stuff. Well, that was wrong, the girls never really saw him much because they were in school, He saw Kale and Bryn, but there were also a million things on the list to get done before winter, and also before he had to leave for 3 weeks for his annual army training. My husband is a motivated person, he wants to get things done and get them done right. He works hard it! I appreciate that about him, however it also leaves us working on each others nerves sometimes too... he wants to get his stuff done before he has to leave for work... I'm trying to get my stuff done.. I have a routine during the day, and it kinda gets thrown out the window when he is on a nights schedule.
The hours between 3-7 are extremely chaotic now that we are in school mode. We get home from school... everyone walks in the door just drops everything and runs.. and literally begin climbing the counters looking for snacks. Even the two little kids who have been home and had snack... I feel like I'm in a zoo at this moment! It has come to the point that I won't let anyone out of the car when we pull into the garage until we discuss what they will do when they walk in the door. Where will you put your shoes? Your back pack? Your jacket... hat... books.......??? NOT on the rug in the entry way so I have to kick it all over just to shut the front door! They are starting to get the hang of it......
We have snack, and they get some play time out back... Lord knows they need to get out some of that energy! It doesn't last long though, because we need to practice our spelling words, and work on homework. It's 2nd grade, there isn't a ton of homework, but what they do have counts and they need to focus on it. Every night we read and/or do spelling, so I like to try to get the actual paper work they have (Math, phonics... whatever it may be) done on Mondays, so we don't have to worry about it for the rest of the week, we can focus on the spelling and reading more.... and we have Dance class on Wed. nights so thats a free night from homework.
Of course we have to have dinner... it's way easier if I make it ahead, get it ready or have something in the crock pot... but I don't always have a chance to make it ahead, and I don't always want a crock pot meal. Dinner can be loud and crazy here, and I still haven't figured out how a child can just fall out of their chair!? I swear at least once a week this happens here... we will be sitting and eating, and boom Emma's on the floor... or Bella, or Kale.... seriously I have no idea. They are just sitting eating one minute and BAM on the floor the next!
Then we clean up from dinner and get in the shower/bath get jammies on and get in "quiet down/relax" mode. HAHAHA!
Yes I'm part of the problem here...(the problem is the craziness and the loud and yelling from everyone).. I feel like Im going 100mph trying to get everything done, I feel like if I slow down they will never get to bed, as it is bedtime is not the best part of the day... I love to kiss them good night and pray with them, don't get me wrong here.... it's the 10th time I have to kiss them good night and pray with them that starts to get my blood boiling! Ryan always says, just ignore them don't go back upstairs.... They don't quit... "MOMMY I need to pee... I need you to pray with me again, I need you to tuck me back in AGAIN!" Typically one of them needs (wants) this and keeps at it if I ignore, and then the others can't sleep and start to yell down to me just that.. "I can't sleep... she/he is too loud!"
Not to mention I've been running all day and trying to keep everything in working order and take care of them, so by bedtime... Im ready for quiet. I just need to sit and eat a big bowl of ice cream by myself in the quiet.
So Ryan headed out to A.T. for about 3 weeks. This is nothing, we have been through deployments so... pshhh whatever, 3 weeks! Bring it! Well.... after the 2 months of night shifts... 3 weeks felt like a year. Ok maybe not a year.. but it felt like forever. we did good the 1st half, but I was so ready to have him back! I hate sleeping in my bed alone.... ok HA well, I didn't I had every kid in and out of my bed for three weeks..... but really, as much as I love to snuggle my babies, I just wanted to snuggle next to my husband. I wanted to sit and relax with him at night because he hadn't been home at night in so long. So when he got home, it was so nice to sit and watch a movie together and have him back in our bed again. Of course he got a night job again as soon as he got back :( I know I need to just be thankful he has work, and he has a good job.... but really, enough already with the night shifts! Then 6 days after coming home, he has a drill weekend. A man obviously planned that!!! A man that doesn't like his wife at that!
To make Drill weekend even better.... the unit was put on stand-by for being mobilized to NYC. Now I get it, they need some assistance down there, and I do feel for them.... but I'm about to loose my freakin mind here, and I need my husband home, and I need him on a normal day shift. So needless to say I spent the better part of the weekend praying God would have some mercy on me.
Call me selfish... call me whatever you want... I need my husband home! We haven't had a date in so long... we have one planned for this coming weekend. I did not want to have to cancel that! We have bday parties for our two November babies... I want him here for that! I want him here for bed time, I'm not ashamed to say I need his help! The kids don't listen to mommy as well as they listen to daddy, because mommy is here 24/7... they need daddy to make them go to bed sometimes. Not to mention they just plain need daddies hugs at bedtime too, they were asking all the time when he would be home.  They need their dad! So God please don't let him get mobilized to NYC, please, not now.
Well, he came home!!! Thank you God! For now they are still apparently on stand-by just incase, so we will see.
It is looking up....he is back on a day shift! Thank you God for that too! We can have family dinner again!! Sometimes, my husband thinks I only want him here for help with the kids and cleaning. Well, that is nice, I need him. I need him here with me, in our bed at night, loving us and taking care of us. I'm strong, I can do it... I have remember, he was deployed for a year... we make it work. We wanted this life... we still do... but that does not mean we don't deserve a break from time to time. I'm looking forward to getting back to Zumba, haven't been able to go since August... book club with the girls, you would think would be an easy one, its one night a month. I tried having it here, but that was a big FAIL, I spent more time going up and down the stairs trying to get the kids to be quiet and go to sleep... and silly me had it here twice haha... because I wanted to attend.
Oh well.... such is life I guess right.... it's never going to go perfectly my way, especially not with the military! It's always a waiting game! The clock it still ticking...we are still breathing, and I'm blessed to have my family and my husband! I love them and they love me!
So there... I vented! If you stuck it out and read the whole thing, thanks haha ;) I just had to let myself burst for a minute.
Ryan does so much for us, and on a normal schedule (what is normal..right?) things are a bit easier, and we have a routine. It just felt kinda like 2 full time jobs the past few months, with the night shift and the A.T. and drill weekend all bumping into each other. It isn't easy on him either, he is tired and sick of it too.... it is what it is though, and I'm hoping we can stick to days for awhile now!
And maybe, just maybe... we will have a whole new routine going for a us soon........................................................

5!!!!

I have a million things on my mind.... but right now I'm going to put Kale first. He is 5 years old today! At the moment he is running around with his wolf mask from halloween, scaring the crap out of his little sister.
Every mother says this... "where did the time go!? How did this happen!?!" I can't answer that because I'm sitting here wondering the very same! How did he go from this tiny little 6lb 13oz, 19 inch baby boy who needed me to do EVERYTHING for him... to this handsome little man who is becoming more and more independent everyday!? Yes, I know, he is only 5, he is still in preschool, he hasn't mastered all his numbers and letters, and doesn't know how to tie his shoes... but I was just saying this about his big sisters, and now they are in 2nd grade. Bittersweet! I love every new milestone and all the fun ages... but I'm not going to lie.... I wish I could just push a button and go back in time to my tiny babies whenever I want!

our sweet new guy a couple hrs old... happy already!

Our little "old man" ;)

Just getting him ready... seeing that he already at 5 yrs old can bat and throw the ball lefty or righty...Red Sox, here he comes!

his 9 month pics... he made the wall at The Picture People, a whole section behind the front desk all Kale. They let me take a pic of it (even though your not supposed to) I couldn't get a good pic of all the ones they had up there... so I went with this one... my fav!

 I love these two shots from our family pics taken right before Ryan left for Kuwait. I used these as his 3 yr. pics. 

 our lil cat in the hat! trick or treat 2010! 

 1st day of pre-school

 The Big 5 Year Old !!!!

Just had to share those... just a handful of my fav. pics of him. Happy birthday "Mr. McMuggins!!!!" (yep lol.... that's been his nick name for years!) We love you buddy!!!