God works in mysterious ways.

Ever wonder... when is enough, enough? Lately I find myself wondering this quite often. It just seems to be one thing after another. I know everything is fixable & prayer is powerful & and there are plenty of little ones in this world with much worse things going on in their precious little lives. When It comes to your own babies though, you just can't help this feeling of let down and sadness when you continue to hear "not so happy" results at each Dr.'s appt. they have.

My poor Missa can not seem to catch a break. I can't help but feel angry over this. I had a long chat with God on our way home from her eye appointment at Concord Hospital today. I'm not really feeling at peace and I know I have a lot more praying to do. I just wish that we could get some happy, healthy news for a change.

This morning we headed out on our trek up to the pediatric eye specialist, a little over an hour from our home. Missa has an extra tear duct on the outer part of her right eye. A little over a yr. ago I noticed what looked like a tiny dimple in the corner of her eye. I pointed it out to her pediatrician, It seemed to be  tearing and he referred us to a specialist. We went and things seemed to be fine... it was another duct and it was tearing, but not a huge concern at the time. We just had to go back in a yr. for a follow up.

So here it is, a year later and we go in for our check up. The duct is fine, still tearing, but better left alone at this point. Not worth the risk of anesthesia with her heart condition and just needs to be watched. However during her eye exam the Dr. noticed she has an astigmatism in both eyes. She went on to tell me, they don't worry too much about these as long as both eyes are the same. Of course nothing can be simple with B... her left eye is worse than her right. Of course. She does not need glasses at this point, and we don't do anything right now... she will go back in 6 months instead of a year to be checked again. It could get worse, it could get better, it could go away.

I know this isn't a huge concern & definitely not half as altering as her congenital heart defect, but seriously Lord..... WHY!? Why can't we just go to an appointment and get an "all clear". Apparently that is just too much to ask. UGGGGG I hate feeling like this, and I hate getting mad...Like I said, I know it could be fine. It could fix itself. In the meantime though, it's here, it's affecting her one way or another, whether she notices or not...... and That bothers me!

You take your babies to their check ups every couple months, then they turn 2 and they are supposed to get a year off.  B turned 2 and now on top of her normal pediatrician, she also has 2 pediatric cardiologists and a pediatric eye specialist. She has had her fair share of "specialty" appointments and will continue to have many, many more..... for the rest of her life.

Two months from now, in June she will go for her 6 month follow up cardiologist appointment. A fun filled day of lots of monitoring to check out the progression of her heart condition. Six months from now, in October she will have her 6 month follow up with the eye specialist again, and 7 months from now, in November she will have her 3 year check up. Lord, I pray that these next few appointments hold better news than the last few did!

B is a trooper, and a spunky little crazy girl. There is no denying that. She keeps everyone around her laughing and entertained, including her 3 older siblings. They get the biggest kick out her, and absolutely love her. Those kids are the BEST big sisters, and brother! Always praying for their baby sister... and always taking care of her. Love those kids so much!!!!!!!!!

1 Peter 5:10

And the God of all grace, Who called you to his eternal gory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.